• Imani White

Fear and Failure

Initially, I had begun to write about these two topics as if they did not coexist. However, it seems like every time failure is mentioned, fear is right around the corner. And each time fear is mentioned, it is failure that his hidden beneath the surface. What if I fail? What if I don't host this party correctly? What if I don't pay my bills? What if I can't get to work on time? What if I can't keep my nerves controlled on this date? What if-what if-what if-what if. Are you not simply tired of it all? My dear friend, you may need to learn something that a professor taught me last semester. That phrase goes a little something like this...

..."What you try to control, will end up controlling you."

Let that sink in for a second. Yeah...I know. I don't know about you but I was not aware of just how much and how desperately I tried to control every single last detail in my life. My days were scheduled by the minute. Literally---the minute. You should see my old planner. (Part of the reason I do not keep a planner on my person anymore.) But in that control, I learned another important lesson. Control is not the same as having power. Power comes from one's confidence in who they are. This internal sense is so solid, that their days are unshakable. Regardless of what happens, they have a small voice inside that reassures them that some how in some way the day will pass, the time will pass and the pain will pass. When it has passed, a strength will arise which would have been unattainable prior to that certain situation. I don't know about you, but I would rather be known as a powerful young woman than a woman who tries to control her whole life. (And it's more fun this way.)

Now I am not going to give you "Imani's top ten ways to avoid fear and failure." Why? Because it would be a complete disservice to you if I did. It's impossible. You can not escape fear or failure...ever. And that is because they are needed. It's how we become strong. If you were not afraid in your entire life, you would not know when to protect yourself. You would travel through life blindly. Like I had mentioned in my last blog post, in the old caveman days, fear is what triggered their brain into action. That is just what it does for us now. It forces you to react, move, persevere,and inevitably grow. You can not run from it. The only way to make it disappear is by facing it. Every time.

As far as failure? I KNOW you have heard this one: if you had never fallen as a baby, how would you know how to get up and walk? Keep that thought, let it grow in your mind. You'll know what I mean. However there is another gift to failure, it can confirm who you are.In some cases, failure inspires us to work harder. In other cases, it lets us know where our limit is and humbles us. We may learn that is not where our path aligns and we can begin pursuing a new adventure. But we would never know when to stop and search for a new dream if we had never "failed." (I believe if you learn something from it, it's never a failure. Yes = cheesy. Yes = the truth.) Welcome the failure. Just think how much more awesome you're going to be when you get through it!!

Now what I will do is give you 4 tiny tips on how to confront fear and failure for when you can feel it coming on the horizon.


This is not meant to offend anyone in any way, shape, or form. All I know, is that we were never meant to be alone. So in confusing and chaotic times, who better to talk to then who made you...whoever your heart tells you that is. We're not meant to go through life alone. And you never are. I honestly feel that talking to someone higher than yourself gives you an energy jolt far stronger than anything you may have on your own. And what's better than having another cheerleader on your side? (And as a teeny tiny side note...the bible does say, "Do Not be Afraid" about 365 times. One for every day.Hope that helps in some way.)


A wise woman once said, "Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is listening to what God has to say." For those of you who may be uncomfortable with this, it is also actually a time where your body can speak to you as well. Today we really are on the go so much we may not even know who WE are or what WE need/want. Now is the time where you can finally listen to yourself! And what an absolute joy, honor and gift it is to have the opportunity to meet yourself and get to know who you are! (Cue the Titus Andromedon quotes "You're so lucky! I haven't been able to meet me." lol...)

Write it Down.

Write it. Read it the next day. Reflect. It will blow your mind. And it will get everything off your chest and out of your mind.


Go easy on yourself really. You're probably so exhausted from already being the superhero that you are. Take some time to appreciate yourself and take care of yourself. I know you've been dying to try those "bath bombs" everyone keeps talking about. Eat the darn ice cream for pete's sake. (not too much of course lol) But really, you're so wonderful. Just take the time to remind yourself of that. You're going to be great.