If I am completely honest, this may be one of the most honest posts I've ever written. But I feel when you are reflecting over your past year-you are the only one that's seen everything you've seen. So I believe it is important to be honest about how you feel about what you've seen and turn it into lessons learned.
So let's begin!
1) I am Exactly Where I am Supposed to Be
I've mentioned this a few times to family and friends before, but the impact that "A House on Beekman" left on me at the Bronx was incredible. I expected to go and have my life flipped completely upside down and shaken. Surprisingly, I felt nothing but peace everywhere I went. I learned that my life didn't need to be twisted upside down-I've always been on the exact path that I was supposed to be on. All of those things that I'm passionate about-writing, music, beauty industry, middle school empowerment-they all came into place. It's almost like I asked God, "Am I alright? Am I doing the right thing?" And he simply answered with "Yes."
2)Go Back to who you Were, to Remember who you Are
I'm sure it's no secret that we all compare ourselves 24/8 ha. We attend seminars and read positive articles to see who we should be or what we should do to love ourselves more. But I've found that the secret is to just spend time doing what you did as a kid. Before the things happened that shaped you, or hardened your heart-what did you do? For me, I sang and played piano. I'd spend hours doing it. Sure enough, my fingers still remember the keys, and I find pieces of myself coming back together each time I do.(shout out to all my Ohio show choir friends!)
If you feel lost of where to go next, maybe your next step shouldn't be forward...but rather take a step back.
3)What love feels like...
The biggest warmest hug wrapped around your heart. It's being able to breathe after you've realized you've been holding your breath for a very long time. And knowing that you'll never have to hold your breath again.
4)What love doesn't feel like...
Palms cold, feeling frozen and unsure of what to do, what to say, or where to go. Love brings peace, not uncertainty. Even if the answer is "no", love will always bring you peace.
This may be the biggest (well, second biggest) lesson that I learned in the Bronx. We looked over the Lord's Prayer, (you know- the "Our Father, who art in Heaven..." That one). There was a phrase that we focused on that I neeeeveer payed attention to haha. It's the part where they say "Give us this day our daily bread." And I would always think-"okay...this phrase is old. Skip!"
But I learned, that you need bread to live each day. You need food (heehee and I like food). But God will always give you exactly what you need to get through each day. No more, no less. I thought this for a while, and eventually I noticed it. I would be at work hungry and think "oh no I didn't bring a lunch and I don't have time or money to-" then someone would go, "Hey! Do you want the second half of my sandwhich?" Haha!! God is hilarious.
6)Who I am
I am someone who definitely looks for the bedazzled sparkle sugar to sprinkle on top of every situation, and to laugh with everyone! haha. But I am also the one who feels most like herself when she spends a day on her own, messy hair, no makeup, at home with a good movie and her piano. I have two completely opposite sides, and that's okay. In fact, I love both of them.
I'm also absolutely obsessed with 90's rom-coms. They were the best.
7)How to Be Brave
Learning, and still learning, how to be brave has been a humbling ride. I'm still not done, and I don't plan to be. But Bravery led to so much this year, and I'm grateful for it. I'm excited to see what freedom 2018 will bring.
So! What are we thinking? Is there something you would like to try this new year? Go ahead and give it a try! And by the way-you still have time this year. I am so honored that you took the time to read this with me, thank you!
Thank you for being apart of my year.
I love you,
Your Big Sister
"Do not fear, because I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will stregthen you, I will surely help you; I will uphold you with my righteous strong hand."